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Joke of the Day
"Why don't witches wear underwear? They have to grip the broom."
Next Joke
"I farted in a Apple Store Too bad they didn't have any *windows*."
"[biologists find beached whale] its a new species what can we call it? [surfer walks by] yo killer whale bro [biologists look at each other]"
"""Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?"" - Most all film directors"
"mom: I'm not your friend I'm your mother! [20 years later] mom: why won't you accept my friend request on FB? I'm your mother"
"I've started a business building yachts in my attic Sails are going through the roof!"
"Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words: * Always * Coming * From * Take * Me * Down"
"How do you make holy water? Boil the *hell* out of it."
"I think a cool anti-hero would be Aeon Netflux ...except during fights she would stop every 2 minutes to ""rebuffer"", and her selection of moves would be extremely limited."
"Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts."