18455

Joke of the Day

"mom: I'm not your friend I'm your mother! [20 years later] mom: why won't you accept my friend request on FB? I'm your mother"

"There's a faggot in the trunk of my car. There were too many sticks in my front yard, so I'm dumping them in the woods."

"I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why."

"When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day... Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home."

"What do you call someone who has sex for spaghetti? A pastatute."

"""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out"

"Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast? Because it's un oeuf."

"No relationship is perfect so you might as well pick the perfect person you want to go through hell with"

"What is the worst thing about sex in a cemetery? All the damn digging."

"Since I'm wearing a white top, I'm going to go ahead and eat this meatball hoagie while I drive."