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Joke of the Day
"""7 minutes in heaven"" but just me locked in the closet with this burrito."
Next Joke
"""Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?"" -Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this..."
"Why are all comic book readers drug addicts? They just can't resist the heroine."
"I like my coffee like I like my women. With out a penis."
"I stay awake at night wondering... I stay awake at night wondering if hooked on phonics has a hotline for addicts."
"""This is the fourth lot of bacon to go missing this week. It can only mean one thing."" ""What's that Sarge?"" ""Someone's building a pig."""
"How to curse like an Irishman ""Whale oil beef hooked!"""
"What did the farmer tell the hoe? Let's get dirty."
"My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle."
"Survey gone wrong.. or right?? On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'"