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Joke of the Day
"Why are all comic book readers drug addicts? They just can't resist the heroine."
Next Joke
"It's weird that my neighbors won't let me borrow their keys & make a copy of them in case I need to clean their house while they're asleep."
"What did one steak say to another? Nice to meat you"
"I've been shoveling manure all day So don't give me any bullshit."
"I'm old school in the sense that I always put women and children first. I mean, there could be spiderwebs."
"RIP George Michael I guess this was his 'Last Christmas'. What? Too soon?"
"Bowtie pasta is the most handsome of all the pastas."
"Before I go to the airport I'm going to swallow a Hot Wheels car & an action figure. Then when they scan me I'm going to act like Godzilla."
"My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something i dont want myself to know about."
"*phone rings* Wife - ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me - *strips naked and does running man* Wife - ""...."""