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Joke of the Day

"HER:He doesn't trust me. THERAPIST:How so? HER:He's always spying on me. ME (dressed as Therapist):Really? THERAPIST:WTF HER:WTF ME:WTF"

"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"

"Who built the round table? Sir Cumference"

"There's no police in Canda... If your car is faster than a moose"

"What drink did the Karate Master order? Wa-tah! Haha. I'll leave now... (Sorry if already posted. I searched a little bit but found nothing.)"

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But why are you walking around giving men fish? That's weird, dude."

"Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!"

"What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor? An elevator has a GF"

"So I was eating out this girl one time... And then I tasted horse cum, and said ''Grandma that's how you died''"

"Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal meth? I hear it was pretty dope."