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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal meth? I hear it was pretty dope."

"What's a priest on an egg called? A brother"

"mad props to my friends from high school who are successfully balancing raising a baby and constantly posting someecards on facebook"

"[Black Joke] what's the difference between a Black guy and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four"

"Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night."

"My friend was going to Ethiopia, so I asked him ""Have you ever had Ethiopian food?"" ""No, sadly"" ""That's ok, neither have they"""

"I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous."

"My professor just told the WORST physics joke What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing, cause you can't cross a scalar and a vector!"

"sometimes i call watermelons summer pumpkins and nobody ever knows what im talking about."

"Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave."