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Joke of the Day

"I am a level 5 vegan.... I cant eat anything that casts a shadow."

"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"

"No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I'd go on a road trip with my mom."

"I tried to add 1 + 1 But it was two complicated for me."

"What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home."

"A Pokemon Go user walks into a bar.... He was too busy looking at his phone to notice it."

"What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle."

"Why does Hellen Keller use two hands for masturbation? One to masturbate, one to moan."

"I watch Aladdin and root for Jafar."

"Like I said before, I hate repeating myself"