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Joke of the Day
"Man: What can I do you for? Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare"
Next Joke
"What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog"
"He asked why I put my stick figures on my dash, not the bumper. I had to explain that it was an actual photo of my relatives."
"Go ahead and cremate your grandma, you've urned it."
"With my pasty white skin, ample curves, & hatred of manual labor, I would have dominated the 16th century."
"How many RothChilds does it take to change a light bulb? There still working on it..."
"Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'"
"What do you call a group of squid? A squad"
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things Facebook changes, the courage to change the settings I can, and the wisdom to know it won't make a difference."
"Q: Why are crocodiles brown and flat? A: Because if they were yellow and round, they'd be lemons."