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Joke of the Day

"Before my grandma kicked the bucket, he said one thing to me ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"How do black people tan? Holding their hands up"

"Knock knock Who's there? The pastor The pastor who? Open the fucking door goddamit, there's a crazy white man with a gun, let me out!"

"How do you know if a pepper is being nosy? When he's jalapeno business!"

"I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him GOD, I hope he calls me."

"If my grandmother was on Twitter, I bet most of her tweets would be about raisins."

"You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze."

"What be a pirate's favorite letter? Ah, ye'd think it be R matey.... but actually it's the C!"

"Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me."