73702

Joke of the Day

"It's just a flesh wound... *looks down at hibachi knives I just pretended I was Master Chef with* *looks at bystander I just chop chopped*"

"What did the constipated math teacher do? Worked it out with a pencil."

"I hear an important member of Jehovah's Witness died He's knocking on heaven's door"

"Why don't gay jokes ever get old? Because they get AIDS and die."

"If a man opens the car door for his wife... it's either a new car or a new wife."

"When I was in college I had all these philosophical questions. Now I just want to know how these kids got toothpaste under the toilet seat."

"Undertaker: ""What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?"" Wife: ""Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."""

"""i wonder what i'll order from amazon prime today"" - me every morning kinda"

"Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you."

"Bill Gates is so rich... he hired cancer to kill Steve Jobs."