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Joke of the Day

"""I'll catch up with you, I just have to make ONE more joke on Twitter"" (How I'd die in a horror movie)"

"What do you call a train that eats too much? A chew-chew train."

"two deer walk out of a gay bar one turns to the other and says ""man, I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there."""

"Why don't dentists display their awards? Because they want to prevent plaque build-up."

"I put off things I don't want to do until tomorrow because a small part of me is like ""Well maybe I'll be dead by then"""

"What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake"

"A man gets pulled over, the officer says to him ""How high are you?"" The man replies, ""No officer it's 'hi, how are you?'"""

"What's the difference between everyone and bullets Everyone misses Harambe. Don't know if this is a repost or not, just heard it from a friend."

"Why is Obama left-handed? Because blacks have no rights"

"The Soviet Cycle of Procrastination First, you are Putin down your work. Then, you are Stalin for time. Finally, you are Russian to finish."