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Joke of the Day

"I put off things I don't want to do until tomorrow because a small part of me is like ""Well maybe I'll be dead by then"""

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? (NSFW) To suck the cock"
"Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born? Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones."
"""What's your view on lesbians?"" 1080p"
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"[stop light] It will turn green in 5 4 3 2 1.. And Now It Will Turn Greeeeeeeen *turns green* Ah yes nailed it."
"whos your future husband or wife mine reddit alien"
"I wrote a best-selling book titled ""How tostick a lamp up your ass"". AMA! Except for how to get to the lamp out of your ass."
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"What did Obama say when he called the Russian Parliament? ""Are you Putin me on?"""