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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Pakistani cook get fired? He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite."

"I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving."

"So this blonde walks in to a computer store... ... and says to the employee; have you got any curtains? Employee says; um no sorry this is a computer store Blonde; duhh, I have windows."

"Why does salt come in a bottle? Because it's white I don't know why it's funny. I just heard it so can someone explain it to me?"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Just because she's dead doesn't mean she can't still screw."

"Q: How do you get a German out of the bath? A: Turn on the water."

"Which trees miss you the most? Pine trees"

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"

"I love the way the Earth rotates... It makes my day."

"ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Noel."