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Joke of the Day

"The lights in my house love me... ...because I always turn them on."

"Multiple personality disorder has made my sex life hard... I want to masturbate , but I'm not into orgies."

"Where do Old Egyptian people go to Swim? The Senile River"

"how many hitlers does it take to change a light bulb? nein edit: i dont know if this is posted before, it probably has but i thought of it myself, no hate :3"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""I don't think I can get hard -- I just got laid this morning!"

"This is embarrassing. I tunneled through my wall to escape work and ended up in my boss's office. He's watching me tweet this. I'm fired."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butch ! Butch who ? Butch your arms around me !"

"Ugh I hate fake fans. Everybody here is standing up & singing along to his big hit, but probably cant name 3 other Francis Scott Key songs."

"Another sequel in the ""The Fast and the Furious"" series was announced today. We can only assume it will be called: ""5 Fast 5 Furious""."

"Survival of the Fittest Women in the New Zealand wilderness survives by drinking her own breast milk. Your turn Bear Grylls"