191215

Joke of the Day

"I typed ""Cigarettes"" in the search bar and it said ""No Matches"". The universe has spoken."

"The New York Knicks"

"""To each their own"" Translation ~ one of us is right, and well... the other one is you."

"Actual warning I saw in a pamphlet: ""You may be at risk for throat cancer if you have a throat or mouth."" Oh shit...."

"Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old"

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"If Indiana Jones was a new-born Christian what would he change his job title to? Arkeologist."

"Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient, and thus are incapable of feeling fear."

"As Microsoft reveal the new Windows 10, people start to question what happened to Windows 9. Microsoft's answer: Windows 7 ate it."

"Do you know the difference between a cheeseburger and a blowjob? Come on. Lets go to lunch. My treat."