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Joke of the Day

"*me at fast food counter* ""hey mister, did this meat bark or meow?"" ""It asked stupid questions."""

"Trump supporters determined to hack berniesanders.com They're just waiting for their GED results to come in, so they can operate their computers."

"If I had to guess at the religion of Daniel Day Lewis... I would probably have to say Methodist &nbsp; [What are the rules of Daniel Day Lewis?!](http://imgur.com/gallery/NDOov4L)"

"A blackout is just your brain clearing it's browsing history."

"Superman Joke Your clear history button has saved more lives than Superman"

"welcome to hipster church. this is my body *bites vegan cookie* this is my blood *sips garage-brewed IPA*"

"How many ants does it takes to fill an apartment? Ten-ants"

"What do you call a comedian who couldn't make it? Pun intended."

"An officer pulled me over for driving erratically, but it was because some bees had gotten into my car. He must have thought I was buzzed."

"Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub (2) I'm banned from Subway"