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Joke of the Day

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison ."

"The ""sell by"" date should actually be the ""diarrhea after"" date."

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? Yep, he died in his tea pee."

"How do blondes' brain cells die? Alone"

"*throws a dead pigeon at jerk who cut me off in traffic* Wife: Hun, I don't think ""flipping the bird"" means what you think it means."

"I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week Phoned her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"Life stops when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, love ends when you stop caring, friendship ends when you stop sharing."

"Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content."

"I know my Valentines day will be full of garbage... ...because I'll get dumped anyway."

"What have Brussel sprouts and pubic hair got in common? You brush them both to the side and carry on eating."