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Joke of the Day

"Confucius say man who drops watch in toilet... ...has shitty time"

"I was going to have an 'end of the world' party... ...but I couldn't get the day off work."

"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit Will you get out of my hair !"

"mom hates dad My mother used to be a ventriliquist.. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father"

"Just saw Star Wars IMAX this weekend. I have to say... It was a solid movie. I give it a perfect score of 5/7."

"How do Africans carry Ebola? In large baskets balanced on top of their heads."

"If you ever feel like a third wheel, just stop.... You are not a third wheel. You are a majestic unicycle and they are your noble training wheels."

"Why are fat people so rich? Because they have lots of pounds."

"What do kings call musical chairs? A game of thrones."