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Joke of the Day

"What do you call 4 lepers in a jacuzzi? Stew"

"Shoutout to sidewalks! For keeping me off the streets..."

"Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"You really have to question the judgment of people who have children on purpose."

"A little boy says ""dad I've heard in some parts of africa a man doesn't know his wife until marriage. The dad says...... ""Son that happens everywhere."""

"Why are there no good racist jokes for white people? because, only whites are racist."

"*waiter lays down my plate* ""Can I get u anything else?"" U CAN GET ME HAPPY FACE PANCAKES LIKE I ORDERED, U FUC- *he rotates my plate* oh ok"

"(NSFW) Let's have a bet Let's have a bet. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a good dad. If I am a good dad, you will give me a million pounds. If I'm not, I'll beat the shit out of my kids, deal?"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition."

"Did you hear Lorain Labbobit died in a car accident last week? Some dick cut her off!"