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Joke of the Day

"How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her."

"What do you say to someone riding a stoned horse? Get off your high horse."

"Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three if you slice them very thinly."

"Did you hear about the guy who invented a knife that can cut four loaves of bread at once? He's calling it the ""Four Loaf Cleaver."""

"I hate working with customers I've gotta say ""hi"" all the time. (Tove Lo)"

"What's the best thing about fucking twenty one year olds? There are twenty of them."

"You can't trust atoms... They make up everything."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she flirted with the road's husband."

"Who is the oldest singer on the Internet? Click Jagger."

"A car made of French bread just raced past me. It was a Baguetti Veyron."