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Joke of the Day

"He'd make the best firefighter. My friend is the absolute worst at snappy comebacks I guess you could say he's flame retardant."

"How many French people need to defend Paris? It isn't known, never tried."

"How come you never see elephants hiding up trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Want to hear a joke? Women's Rights"

"Even after all the crap that's gone between them. They're still together. My butt cheeks :)"

"Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes... That way you're a mile away from them, and as a bonus you have their shoes."

"God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot."

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything"

"Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money and send you abroad! Son: Is she hot?"

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""