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Joke of the Day

"Me: Take my pic *hands him camera & giggles* Him: What's funny? Me: Nothing. Him: *presses button, explodes, dies* Me: Ha! Photo bombed!"

"Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?"

"What do you call a green polo shirt? Collared greens"

"My Irish friend was telling me about his uncle. ""My uncle's a cop, you know,"" he said. ""Oh, really?"" ""No, O'Riley."""

"What time is it in Brazil? Oh, it's 7 past Cesar"

"I think my girlfriend has had 61 lovers before me... Because she calls me her sixty second lover"

"It's so hot outside! I'm sweating like Jessica Simpson in a spelling bee!"

"Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul? He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change."

"Heads, you give me your phone number, tails you go on a date with me. *flips coin into ceiling fan, it's knocked out a window into the sea*"

"The other night my girlfriend and I had parked in a quiet road for a bit of fun when a policeman caught us. He gave me a ticket for doing 69 in a 30mph zone..."