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Joke of the Day

"One I just made up. Did you hear about the dyslexic mafia? They all pay homage to the Dog Farther"

"If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a ""anything for 5 dollars"" ad on Craigslist with your name and number."

"I like Ouija boards It's the only game I can still play with grandma."

"I Went To The Zoo Yesterday The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shih-Tzu."

"What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter? 8008132"

"If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO <badumpa>"

"My 'Mom Voice' was so loud even the neighbors washed their hands and cleaned their rooms."

"Asked my friend who works at the tampon store if he could get me a discount He said he'd pull some strings."

"What do you call a mexican drug dealer? MariJUANa"

"Did you hear about the penny and magnifying glass who got married? Their wedding was magnifycent."