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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cloths hanger and a flight of stairs? The cloths hanger only solves one problem."

"What can a duck do that a lawyer can't? Shove its bill up its ass."

"""Daaaaaaaaaaaad, what should I do with this industrial roll of bubble wrap?"" ""Just pop it in the corner please"" It took me 2 hours."

"Why does Al Gore hate Oil Spills? they get all over the sheets."

"You know why /r/jokes doesn't allow pictures? thatsthejoke.jpg"

"The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff"

"My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks."

"I'd like to apologize to the lady on the bus. I assumed you wanted your hair held back while you ate your banana."

"Quickly after robbing my bakery, a man got a severe headache Serves him right. It's not his grain, it's migraine"

"This election has been a bit like watching porn... The hype was fun but now it's over I'm disgusted by what I'm watching."