105107

Joke of the Day

"Quickly after robbing my bakery, a man got a severe headache Serves him right. It's not his grain, it's migraine"

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul."

"Got bad news today. Doctor says I have Nimitz Disease. But don't worry. I'm just a carrier."

"A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend... She says ""I guess I'll have to spread my legs now"" And he replies ""Why, don't you have a vase?"""

"(prostate exam) Dr: WOW! I've never seen this before Me: OMG! WHAT *loud click Me: DID YOU JUST TAKE A SELFIE Dr:.. And send Me: WTF?"

"Why couldn't the octopus stop laughing? Because it had ten tickles"

"I saved 100 orphans from a burning building. Do they call me ""The Orphan Saver?"" No. I butchered 20 men with my bare hands in WWI, but so they call me ""The Butcher?"" No. But you fuck one goat...."

"Environmentally speaking you really should reuse plastic bag's To suffocate your children"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas Gloves. Only joking he's not opened his presents yet."

"Before you do that- think, Would an idiot do that? Then, don't do that."