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Joke of the Day

"""Daaaaaaaaaaaad, what should I do with this industrial roll of bubble wrap?"" ""Just pop it in the corner please"" It took me 2 hours."

"Chuck Norris was born in the log cabin he built himself."

"What's the difference between a large pizza and a bass guitarist? A large pizza can feed a family of four!"

"Why are Mistborns always so thin? Because they're always Burning calories!"

"What did the cool dinosaur say to his mating partner? Dino-mate!"

"Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?"

"That's the story about a penguin breathing by his ass One-day he sit and dye"

"A psychology study suggests that when you are single, all you see are happy couples, When you are committed, you see happy singles."

"Why aren't marriage prevention hotlines a thing?"

"What is the oldest red wine? ""They took our Land!"""