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Joke of the Day

"Pixar says Toy Story 4 is about Hamm, the piggy bank, being turned upside down as executives try to shake every dime out of the franchise."

"I almost bought a 5 pound bag of mini-eggs at costco. Then I saw the 10 pound bag."

"I cannot breath, walk, or bend over but DAYUM these skinny jeans look good."

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"What is WILL.I.AM going to be called after he dies? WILL.I.WAS"

"Why did the chicken lay an egg? (Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!"

"How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler"

"Finding that one slob at the gym who's in worse shape than you is the best feeling. The worst is realizing ""he"" is a mirror."

"Hey, did you hear that I'm dating Carbon Monoxide? They're a little clingy though, it feels like they're suffocating me"