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Joke of the Day

"Finding that one slob at the gym who's in worse shape than you is the best feeling. The worst is realizing ""he"" is a mirror."

"Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 'ate' 9 xD"

"A man is told he is drunk by a Bartender He shouted ""I am not drunk"" The Bartender shouted ""Tell the time!"" The man walked up to the clock and shouted at the Clock ""I AM NOT FUCKING DRUNK"""

"Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language."

"My son has just earned his first boy scout award for 'video gaming'. I guess the next ones will be for 'social ineptitude' & 'pale skin'."

"What did the orphan say when the orphanage burned down? Nothing. He just laughed."

"I'm currently between relationships. The couple on my right are kissing and I think the couple on my left are about to start doing it."

"Why did the acid perform poorly? Because it didn't concentrate."

"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava But only once"