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Joke of the Day

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up."

"A giraffe walks into a bar... and says, ""High balls are on me!"""

"I bought some new speakers today...... I think I made a sound investment."

"Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight"

"I think it was stupid of David Bowie keeping his cancer a secret. The amount of likes he would have got on Facebook would have saved him ten times over."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? Half way."

"I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell out of a guard tower."

"Bruce Jenner? More like Bruce Transjenner!"

"A dick has a sad life His hair is a mess His family is nuts His neighbour is an asshole And, his owner beats him."

"Where does beef come from? Cowschwitz."