72706

Joke of the Day

"""If something goes wrong, we'll just go to a blue DOS screen and dump out an indecipherable log of what happened"". This was a choice made."

"free toilet paper samples at sams club today. everyones wiping their slopped up holes in the middle of the aisle. its disgusting"

"I usually don't like recycling jokes, but... Did you hear the one about the priest and rabbi at the bottle redemption center?"

"I just got a socially progressive phone... It has an LGBTQWERTY keyboard"

"HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down."

"Why do Asians have small breasts Because their fathers only allow for A's."

"Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain"

"Q. What has one horn and gives milk? A A milk truck."

"How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes? Like a Bosch!"

"If you love someone set them on fire. Did I get that right? Oh god what have I done. It's SET THEM FREE isn't it? Sorry burning loved one."