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Joke of the Day

"free toilet paper samples at sams club today. everyones wiping their slopped up holes in the middle of the aisle. its disgusting"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? The 'p' is silent"

"Everybody keeps telling me I'm paranoid... it's like a fucking conspiracy. -Jessica Jones"

"What was the name of the heaviest man in china? Won ton"

"Aww... Nuts What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on your chin? Dick in your mouth *I'll see myself out...*"

"Why do dwarf's laugh while playing football? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"North-Korean food I made North korean food for my GF. She said pizza isn't North korean. I said Shut up and eat it."

"Always wear clean underwear, In case you are abducted by aliens"

"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner"

"What have the films 'Titanic' and 'The Sixth Sense' got in common? Icy dead people."