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Joke of the Day
"What's the lightest thing in the world? The penis, Because we can lift it with a thought."
Next Joke
"A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in ""I want to be a history major,"" he says. The dad responds, ""No you don't! There's no future in it!"""
"TIFU by accidentally giving my vegetarian girlfriend my Italian Sandwich from quizno's instead of her Veggie Delight Sandwich. Oops wrong sub."
"Hillary Clinton hot sauce Fiery and Bernie out the back end"
"I was carrying some spaghetti as I walked past a priest.. You could say I moved some pasta past a pastor."
"I sent the guy on the couch to the store for bread. I'll get 6 texts and a phone call and he'll come back with peaches."
"Why are redditors bad stand-up comedians? Because they'll just tell the crowd that the real joke's in the comments."
"Did you hear about the constipated Mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil"
"Did you hear about the straight white male viscount who ruled with an iron fist over one field? He was an oppressive shitlord."
"What's the similarity between being in the mob and... eating pussy? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"