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Joke of the Day

"I'm never condescending That's when you talk down to people."

"A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked ""How long does it take to fly to Boston?"" The clerk said ""Just a minute..."" ""Thank you"" the man said and hung up."

"The British are making a monument out of rocks to Harry Potter's author When finished, it'll be called the Rowling Stones."

"""Dad Is that a killer whale?"" ""No son thats an orca"" ""Oh. Well what's a killer whale?"" ""U see that whale that's covered n tats & smokin weed"

"Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over? A: A dirty double crosser."

"What do you call a baker with red hair? A ginger bread man"

"*giraffe getting his daily coffee* G: usual grande mocha man Barista: gee that's a... G: *sigh* B:...tall order G: Christ, every goddam day Phil"

"Yeah I'm married, but get one thing straight, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanfdsskk THIS IS SHAUN'S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT."

"Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine."

"Did you know that 50% of asian businessmen have cataracts? The other half have BMW's."