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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that 50% of asian businessmen have cataracts? The other half have BMW's."

"How do you say ""Fuck You"" in Yiddish? Trust me!"

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasn't finished.."

"How do you tell if someone is vegan or not? Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you."

"ME (tousling his hair): You got a girlfriend? 8 YEAR-OLD: Yeah ME (grabbing him by the collar): How. How did you do it"

"Knock knock (....) Interrupting journalist (.. Bang Bang.... bang!"

"Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted."

"DIVORCE & CIRCUMCISION Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck."

"It's okay Microsoft Excel even my love life is not responding."