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Joke of the Day

"So my sister is pregnant with her first child. I'm so happy to finally be a father!"

"Why do giraffes have such long necks? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"Sometimes, eating is very similar to driving. You trust stale greens"

"I only get laid because of who I am... A rapist! -Rodney Dangerfield, RIP"

"Are you russian? No, I'm not in a hurry."

"I got a paper cut writing my suicide note It's a start"

"If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?"

"Why did the Mexican... ... throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila! ... go to the home improvement store in December? Fajitas!"

"The part of my boyfriend is now being played by what appears to be a memory of a time he said brb"

"""Oh, look at the moon!"" I've seen the moon. Thanks."