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Joke of the Day

"The part of my boyfriend is now being played by what appears to be a memory of a time he said brb"

"First time posting here. I always found this f$%#ed up, but hilarious. Q: Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars? A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there? Me: Not Lucy."

"What do you call a belt made of paper? A waist of paper. *knee slap*"

"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has dates..."

"Japan's soccer team"

"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in."

"A man shot himself in the head at an NRA sponsored NASCAR event... while the GOP shot themselves in the foot on the NRA sponsored gun bill. (Jokes for the week of 4/13-4/19 @fridayupdate on twitter.)"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'Neak Up On It."

"Ladies: Is your boyfriend the strong, silent type? Is he carved out of wood? Ladies, you may be dating a garden gnome."

"what sorcery is this, the iron wasnt workin, so I took it apart put it together again got left with extra parts and screws but its working??"