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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake? Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork."
Next Joke
"If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so fucked."
"Sometimes people ask me how I got so funny and I say ""It's easy. I'm just deeply, deeply sad and my life feels unnecessary and empty"""
"Freudian analysts How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?? Sex"
"[makes eye contact with someone through crack in bathroom stall] hey"
"My ex told me that I was gonna die alone... I told her she was wrong because I would die while making out with a shotgun."
"Girl you make me feel like a Galaxy S7 Cause I want to explode in your pants."
"What did little Hitler get for his birthday? His Third Treich."
"Why are vegetarians good in giving head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"
"I just did absolutely nothing for this Klondike Bar."