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Joke of the Day
"I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims."
Next Joke
"At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails. The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though."
"the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves ""we should put him back together"""
"Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive."
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"[Donald Trump's election speech] ""America, I have only 1 thing to say"" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* ""YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"""
"One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes & then walk away."
"You know what they say about people with big brains, right? ""You have a severe case of meningitis."""
"If you fall down in public the best thing to do is stay down, use your fingernails to dig your way to another country then start a new life."
"4 former presidents walk into a bar Clinton gets a new STD"