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Joke of the Day

"the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves ""we should put him back together"""

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."

"Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure but I don't flirt when I drive."

"1) get drunk. 2) have sex. 3) leave taco bell. DONT TELL ME HOW TO PARTY!"

"Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes I have. Well you shouldn't be so clumsy!"

"Mam: ""Which book has............ Mam: ""Which book has helped you the most in your life?"" Student: ""My father's check book!"" :) Like if you agree............."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? wiped."

"If you mean sleeping, then yes, I'm pretty freakin' amazing in bed."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? You marry her."

"A Girl To Doctor: When I Smoke Cigarette, I Feel Very Uncomfortable, On First Puff, I Put Off My Shoes. On Second, My Socks. On Third, My Shirt. Doctor: Take This Cigarette And Tell Me In Detail."