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Joke of the Day

"Everyone have a Good Friday! ...I'll show myself out"

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant? I've bean everywhere, ma'am!"

"This joke is brought to you by AdBlock Plus for Google Chrome. Blocking every ad on the internet, except this one."

"I got into lucid dreaming recently its everything I imagined it to be."

"My Girlfriend is always covered in bruises because she doesn't listen.. I'm always like ""You're about to run into that lamp!"""

"Mitt Romney is walking through heaven when he runs into Barrack Obama"

"Life would be simpler if you were notified when you were added to lists IRL. ""Your crush"" has added you to list ""Friend Zone""."

"I think the easiest way to get a woman to sleep with you is to have her in bed with you when she's very tired."

"People say that it's unethical to eat meat But I feel good every time I eat bacon and remember that I've taken a pig that was living a squalid and miserable life and sent it to heaven."