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Joke of the Day

"I was the best fisherman in town. (nsfw) They called me the master baiter. I could also catch many rare fish, and they also called me a pretty good hooker."

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"Yo Momma so black when she goes swimming poeple thinks shes and oil spill."
"Double Joke Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. ---------------------------------- ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally!"""
"The human body is amazing; I ate no pickles today, yet I just produced a burp that tasted EXACTLY like delicious pickles."
"- Who likes music? - asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."
"I started reading a book about anti-gravity... ...now I can't put it down."
"it is a joyous occasion when the lava in my lava lamp randomly forms a perfect dick and balls"
"What do you call repetitive diarrhea? Re-runs. (ba-dum, tss) It's just the same shit over and over again."
"Want a pudding pop? I don't give a fuck if you want it or not. Stop crying. You're gonna take this motherfucking pudding pop."
"[ First Date ] Her: So you're a MMA fighter? * flashback to me kickboxing a mannequin at Nordstrom's * Me: Yea, I'm still training"