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Joke of the Day

"I don't discriminate based skin colour, I do it based on clothes... In fact you could call me a fashist"

"I normally don't drink, but last time I did I woke up next to my grandmother I still don't know how I got 6 feet under ground."

"What do deer and women have in common? The hornier, the better!"

"That deli has a reputation for sub-par hoagies, ...but the one I had was exactly average."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says ""Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..."" the Scottish farmer says ""Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"""

"I'm beginning to think some of you are not your Avi's, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend."

"What do you call a group of crows dressed as geese? A murder most fowl"

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? an Investigator"

"Why do pandas have black eyes? SHE FELL, DAMNIT! God! What is with all the fucking questions?"

"What is the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite? Israelites contain about 20% less fat."