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Joke of the Day

"My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me."

"I was walking down the street the other day when a man threw some cheddar at me... ... I said ""Well, that's mature!"""

"What is your best wordplay joke? My personal favourite: Two peanuts walked into a bar, one was assaulted."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot!"

"The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl."

"My wife wasn't amused... Her: Be careful traffic is crazy. Me: If I can handle you, traffic should be a cinch!"

"Cutest thing I saw today was the dad angrily slamming the sliding door of his minivan but it slowed down by itself and latched silently"

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"How did the Latino girl get pregnant Her teacher told her to do an essay"

"Did you hear about Trump's import tax assessment? It's tariff-eyeing"