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Joke of the Day

"I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me... please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes. She replied...""I won't dessert you."""

"employee: over 100 ppl were killed by the dinosaurs again CEO: my God [10yrs later] CEO: what if we made a dinosaur theme park again lmao"

"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."

"You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe."

"What animals are poor dancers? Four-legged ones because they have two left feet."

"Did you hear what that guy said to the Reddit moderator the other day? **[Deleted]**"

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll post the answer in the comments."

"What's the most depressed thing in the bathroom? The toilet. It always takes all the shit."

"It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!"

"[Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: ""What's his name?"" Parent: ""Ethan."" Me: ""The movie's starting, Ethan."""