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Joke of the Day

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do? He stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog."

"My reaction to jokes where the punchline is [removed] after seeing so many of them [removed]"

"Karma's only a bitch if you are."

"Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!"

"Saw the pictures of the Hooters girls who were fired due to weight discrimination? Now I'm in the mood for Wings, Muffin Tops & Camel Toes"

"I'm the only stalker I know with OCD. After I break in to watch you sleep, I fold your laundry."

"Why did the burgler take a bath? He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'."

"So I was at Legoland the other day and I saw a couple making out I thought it was inappropiate so walked up to them and said ""Come on guys, this is Legoland. Build a room."""

"Boxed wine: Because corkscrews are dangerous after the second bottle."

"When a knight in armour was killed in battle what sign did they put on his grave ? Rust in peace !"