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Joke of the Day

"""LSD Makes Users Lose Weight"" That makes sense. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."

"The celebrity couple name for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton is Clump."

"My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I have a gambling problem I think she's bluffing"

"Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve' he said in the letter. 'Why?' asked his mother in her reply. 'Because that's what all the kids at camp call me' he wrote back."

"Well i thinks it's safe to say there will be no Turkey for Christmas this year"

"Why do astronomers eat steak before skywatching? They're hoping for meatier showers"

"How do u call a Boomerang that doesnt come back ? a Stick"

"My friends think I have a drinking problem... So I told them ""no, I actually think I drink quite well"""

"What do you call a black guy surrounded by a bunch of white guys? The Allman Brothers."

"I have a gun by my bed. So in the event of an intruder, I can shoot myself to avoid having to interact with a human being."