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Joke of the Day

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!"

"As a gay dude, having a boyfriend with a small penis gets me down sometimes. But I try to stay positive - I'm an ass half full kind of guy."

"What's the difference between a canoe and a Jew? Canoes tip."

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships.. ""In HD"" was NOT the right answer..."

"The rest of the world should fear our military. We have the most cutting edge technology 1954 had to offer."

"Hear about that Saudi girl? Sunnibody try to kill her, but Shiite"

"*walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*"

"My wife is not speaking to me. We watched an old video of our wedding and she realized that I said ""You'll do"" instead of ""I do."""

"Q: Why do rugby fans eat up the sport? A: Because it is 'scrum'-ptious."

"If you whisper, ""we're being watched,"" you can hug a stranger for as long as you want. My record is 13 days."