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Joke of the Day
"Why is Dick short for Richard? Genetics, I guess"
Next Joke
"I just can't stop making dad jokes! I don't know how much father I can go...."
"""The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in."" ~my mother after a few drinks"
"my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called ""good"""
"Either my shirt shrunk in the wash or, a more likely reason, those four push-ups per day have made me a BEAST."
"Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming"
"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside... if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down, push in and out... faster and faster! Yep that's how you wash a cup."
"In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now."
"If you make fun of your significant other's love of Hunger Games are you.... Mockin'Bae"
"Sometimes I like to stand in front of a mirror and reflect."