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Joke of the Day
"Trump is the 45th President of the United States. Aren't you proud fellow Americans."
Next Joke
"There is nothing wrong with drinking while pregnant... ...my wife drank through all five months of her pregnancy."
"Why David shorted his surname to Hoff? Because it was too much Hassel"
"Do you know how many planets are in the solar system? 7, after I destroy Uranus."
"Do you want to 68? You go down on me and I'll owe you one."
"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't Budget<drops mic> Ironically I'm an Accountant and have Chron's so this is not my problem."
"Coworker: Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning? Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette."
"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition... ...and discovered that he'd gravely misunderstood the objective."
"What's the difference between a frog and a cat? A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night."
"Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?"