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Joke of the Day

"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"So I went to a zoo today... But it only had one small dog. It was a shih tzu."

"A little african girl... asks her daddy: ""Daddy can I play with your dick?"" ""- Yes but don't go too far"""

"since you're having surgery tomorrow, get here early and remember no eating after midnight ""because of nausea?"" no, because you're a gremlin"

"How do you unload a truck load of puppies? With a pitchfork"

"Your mother is like a Christmas raffle. $1 a strip."

"I thought we had the right to bear arms but when I got them I was arrested for animal abuse"

"I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears."

"A Roman walks into a bar.... ...Holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please""."

"Knock Knock ..."